I do not know my limit to face this kind of life. Life here means my daily routin, not the life as whole. Somehow I feel bore with wake up in the morning – go to work- back home- arriving home around 7 or 8- read some papers or email or stay along on facebook-go to sleep around 11 or 12. Really… its realy-really-really boring! It’s not the life that I want. Recently I understand why do people really wait for weekend and hate Monday that much. Why do friends depress of their life and grumble for it.
I need challenge in my life… I need colourfull environs… I need to breath the fresh air… I need more specific goals! I am trying to do extra job, this helps me to kill the boredom. But still… it is not what I want 😦
Maybe some people are right to claim that I proper to work as social worker. I never get paid for this job, but I always feel satisfied of everything I did. Because I know the passion is not money but people around me and more than it… ALLAH. Feel like I am doing something real for what I love and for the beloved one.
When the goal is money or in some manner people stated it career, I put people upper me as the standard. What I am doing is to satisfied her/him. I am always been in scary circumstance… I am affraid to do something wrong. I get used to do everything by my own, but now I just follow what people instruct me to do. Its really uncomfortable, you know….
If I just want to stay in my comfort zone, for sure… what I am doing now is already a right path. But… it is not what I want, from beginning it is my parent’s willingness. Ofcourse I never and will not blame them, it just I need more time to get used with all of this… yes… more time… And I hope there is someone will come to safe me very soon. Yes… the one who will bring me to his house as the queen to his side, as school for his children. You know what I mean 😛
Subuh in Jakarta, 05.07 AM